Originally posted by Yunhaier:
You are suffering from serious esteem deficiency
and twisted definition of Love that is form from delusional
messages you inherited from media exposure and other channels. All
sort of self-justifying love and hatred drama-mama throughout your
topic (from common heart wrenching phrases to lengthy waits equates
to faithfulness) are fuelling this unhealthy emotional
engine.
Your root of problem doesn't lie with her; in fact, the entire
cause of this sad plight is because of your own doing. You have
serious inferior complex that obstruct you from accepting love and
being loved. Likely, this wrecked subconscious derived from your
early childhood.
You are unable to accept Love when it is presented to you and you
return Love with nonsensical dealings which will spur resentment
and bitter moments. What the fcuk is
Love-her-but-I-cannot-tell-her-so-I-make-her-hate-me?
CHILDISH! I tell you.
The truth is that you are unable to receive this reality that you
are actually lovable and have someone extend care and concern over
your life. YOU REJECTED that notion and REJECTED her affection
because of your blinded inferiority thoughts that binds you from
the goodness that you could enjoy and that this world is actually
painted with colours. You dull them with your stupidity, which was
breed from poor self outlook.
[b]You kept entertaining
yourself with a biased truth - that she will never
accept you and you can only be friends with her because you are so
afraid of rejection. In the end, it became a self fulfilling
prophesy when you MADE her reject you and trigger your most feared
scenario... that it became impossible with you and her.
Now you can only gaze at her dust trail as she sped off into a new
chapter in her life. She resisted your attempts to woo her because
you have lost the chance she has previously gave to you. There is
no reason why she should love someone she has no interest with...
now. You panic and gripped her further... resulting in a friendship
bleeding and hemorrhage.
Gradually, you became an unconscious pest.
This becomes a vicious karmic cycle and when this friendship is
gone forever, it trigger your next feared scenario - a complete
sever of bonds.
Do you see a pattern here?
You thought of something negative... it wasn't like this... but in
the end, it became like this when you unconsciously work towards
this negativity. Your soul screamed a warning, that this has become
a reality and you justify with 'I knew will become this
way!!'
Self fulfilling prophesy. 
***
You cannot Love others without understanding that
self love must happen before you can extend this love to others.
This is a breach in the Sixth law of Love (The best thing we can do to Love and help our
partners is to love ourselves).
She presented a critical lesson here: that if you continue to
harbor such definition of love, which resulted from poor
psychological state, history will reiterate itself and that it
would be difficult for you to find fulfillment in
relationship.
Start loving yourself.... improve yourself... and most importantly,
get to know yourself. Banish negative thoughts and quit being an
irritant in her eyes. For a start, retreat for a period of time for
self reflection and enlightenment. Be a hermit: rethink and preview
your situation. It gives you and her some time off.
If it has become impossible for you and her (Relationship or
friendship), learn acceptance and move on. To overly cling
unhealthy is a sign of negativity, which also hint at inferiority
complex.
You need to resolve this damaged 'self' problem.
Cheers [/b]
YAR! i agree with u!
